I was sitting on my sofa, relaxing after a couple of long days at work on Thursday when out of nowhere, the most humongous Palmetto Bug landed on my coffee table. Landed. Meaning he came from above and flew his way down to the table. I screamed like I have never screamed before. I am generally ok with bugs, I know that I live in the South now and that bugs just happen here, I have to be ok with that. However, this thing. This bug, is in an entirely different category. It was huge. Like as big as a votive candle huge. You would scream too, I know it. The worst part is that when I tried to find something to catch or kill him he moved too fast and I never found him. I spent the entire night scouring my apartment and cleaning every single surface. After the scouring, I think I slept with one eye open. I half expected to come home after work on Friday and find him sitting here, kicking back and watching TV. I have not seen a sign of him yet, but I am watching out all the time.
Disclaimer: If you have never seen one of these bugs, you do not want to know. Just trust me that it is big and that Palmetto bug is a nice word for cockroach that lives in Palmetto trees. Seriously. Do not google the image. You will have nightmares.