So, I will tell this story, but only because it is at least mildly funny. Mainly, it makes me look neurotic. I am lying in bed last night and I keep hearing Ralph making this weird noise. So, I look at him and think (quotes are now my thoughts):
“Huh. He must have hiccups. That is pretty annoying.”
Ralph’s noises continue and grow LOUDER. At this point, the sound has become like a snort/gasp.
“What in the world? Maybe the poor guy needs some water.”
Get him out of the crate and lead him to water. Snorting continues and he starts sliding around all over the place for a minute.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What is happening to my puppy? Oh my god. I poisoned him with his heartworm today. He must be half gasping for air. I have to get dressed. I have to take him to the puppy ER.”
Ralph stops his snorting and walks back into his crate like a normal dog.
“Well. Maybe he is ok? Although, it would be just my luck that my puppy would need the emergency room on the same day as my Grandpa’s memorial service. Just my luck.”
At which point, Ralph resumes his noises.
“AHHHHH. He must be dying. AHHHHH.”
I call my Mom (and am pretty much ridiculous). “Mom, Ralphie is snorting and making weird noises and his legs went all funny. I think I poisoned him. I think I need to take him to the dog ER.”
Mom: “Wait what? Why don’t you call the ER? Do whatever you need. I am sure he is ok.”
Me: “If I call, they will for sure tell me to come in.”
I hang up and call. (Basically, because I am SURE at this point that they will tell me to bring him in immediately, but hoping they have some advice for the car.) It is worth noting that Ralph has officially stopped his noises again.
I explain the scenario to the lady on the phone.
Who immediately says: “Well, it sounds like he is reverse sneezing” and suggests that I watch him, let him run around, give him a few treats, and go from there.
My future children are in so much trouble.